MY 5 LESSONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE

Today my husband and I are celebrating our 6-year wedding anniversary. However, most do not know that we have actually been together for over 12 years and met over two decades ago. To say that our whole existence as a couple has been about timing would be an understatement. LOL 

The point of this blog is not to outline our entire relationship, but to share at least my top 5 lessons I have learned over the years together.

1. BE KIND & RESPECT ONE ANOTHER
   It’s so important to be respectful and understanding of your spouse. When you’re with someone for a lengthy amount of time, it can be easy to take them for granted. Express your appreciation and respect for them every day. Learn what your partner’s “love language” is and do it often: verbal praise, acts of kindness, positive reinforcement, etc. Each of us feel appreciated and loved in very different ways. So actions that make you feel valued may not be the same for your partner. 
   

2. LAUGH TOGETHER…A LOT
   Life is stressful enough, so it helps if you can find lightness even when you’re in the thick of it. Whether it’s through little inside jokes, a silly unexpected text, or even just watching a comedy together, connecting with your partner with laughter can increase your bond. I’m quite quirky and my husband is very quick-witted, so we often are able to find humor in both good and bad situations…or even just to laugh at each other.
   

3. DATE YOUR PARTNER; HAVE FUN & DO THINGS TOGETHER
   Through all of the years and crazy schedules, this is one of the most important things we ALWAYS make time for. Each week my husband and I commit time to spend together: happy hour, dinner out, traveling getaways, cooking dinner together, or even just a random trip to Kirkland’s. Injecting new activities and interests into your relationship can strengthen your bond. When couples share unique passions or skills, they evolve together. Whether it’s a love of travel or food (our favorites), a strong desire to build a family together, or a dedication to a common cause, these experiences can enrich the relationship.
   

4. EMBRACE (BIG & SMALL) MOMENTS TOGETHER
   No marriage or relationship is perfect, but it may be “perfect” for you. There will be ups & downs, disagreements, heated arguments and hard times. It is easy to go through the happy and easy parts of life with ease together, but some of the defining moments in a relationship is when you’re placed in times of adversity. These moments will either pull couples apart or build stronger bonds. My husband and I have had our fair share of hardship (maybe at some point I may share publicly), but the one constant throughout our time together: our love for one another. Regardless of the circumstance, good or bad, we have decided to go through life…TOGETHER. 
   

5. ALLOW SPACE FOR GROWTH
   To truly be happy in a marriage or any relationship, for that matter, individuals must be willing to grow and adapt. Our needs are constantly changing, people are growing and relationships evolve. The ability to be flexible, compromise, and pivot with one another is extremely important while navigating your journey together. One of the biggest components is supporting the other as they grow into the best person they can be. I’ve been so fortunate to have a partner that fully supports me…in everything I do. He inspires me to be a better version of myself every day. He encourages me to explore new endeavors, regardless if I’ve been successful or have failed. Even in times of my own failure, he is the first one by my side to lend a listening ear, help pick up the pieces if needed, and to cheer me on to my next venture. 
   

Relationships in general require work, but at the same time there should be a sense of ease with your partner. We are very fortunate to have built a strong, healthy foundation not only for our marriage, but for our relationship. I wish for other couples to be as blessed, as my husband and I.